5 Different Shades Of Relationships: Africans and Europeans in Perspective.

When I think of relationships, I think of friendship blended with passion, intimacy, commitment and loyalty with the goal of building a lifetime together in marriage.

 

Marriage is the prerequisite for building a family and ultimately a society. There is an  apparent relativity in relationship forms  between Africans and Europeans and it will be safe to conclude that what are acceptable habits or trend in one are unthinkable in others.

The process, functions and characteristics of relationships vary from culture to culture, however, the contemporary Africans are closer to Europeans.

Here are 4 contrasting features of relationships between Africans And Europeans

Courting

usually, it is a suitability assessment program by the couple's parents in Africa -  it is the parents that actually do the courting. Consideration is given to the wealth and status of the male suitor's family in assenting to the marriage while the groom's parents focus on the background of the bride's parents and her upbringing. For our European counterparts, it is an activity  for two to the exclusion of their parents. Intermittent visits to either of their families may come in between but not as of priority. 

Consummating Marriage

It is common trend now for Africans to go to the Marriage Registry to consummate their marriages but it is one of many phase. For South-Western Nigerians, it is a two, three or four days event depending on the background the two families. In most instances, these phases cum events includes an Introduction, Engagement and Religious consummation activities. Some insist on doing both rites of the predominant religion -  Islam and Christianity - if the two families are of different religious background. 

Bride-price and/or dowry

Perhaps early Europeans practiced this but it is peculiar with Africans. It is a price paid for the woman and varies from place to place. In South Eastern Nigeria, where this is not paid, the issues of the union are regarded as bastards. Modern day Europeans do not see women as an article to be brought and usually, no exchange is made in that regard. 

Financial commitment

This goes to the root of the relationship and forms, in most cases, the foundation of the marriage. Impoverish people in Africa sometimes see it as a form of reward for having a female child. The groom's family provides a lot of financial incentives to the bride's family and continues in the marriage where the groom is responsible for all financial undertakings. This is not likely the mentality of Europeans whose egalitarian status in the marriage extends to their financial commitments. 

There are cases where either of the couple with a better financial footing undertakes this responsibility; it is not gender sensitive too.  For South-Western Nigerians, it is a two, three or four days event depending on the background of the two families. Modern day Europeans do not see women as an article to be bought